I’ve been living in New Zealand for close to 8 years now. I must say that compared to most Asian migrants, my daughter and I have had it good. Racist remarks have been few and far between over the years. Racial discrimination whether at work or at social occasions have been subtle enough to render themselves obscure. Perhaps having a Kiwi for a Husband made all the difference. Maybe, maybe not. We were immune from the racial jibes. The taunts. Or so I thought.
When silly remarks were made in the past such as ‘Asian b*tch’ or ‘Go home to your country’ , they were mostly ignored by us. I’m an adult. I can handle it. Heck, I even survived the racist remarks made by my Husband’s ex-wife to me when she found out we were getting married — ‘She’s only marrying you to escape the Philippines’. It angered me, yes, that’s true. But I also learnt to dismiss it as rants of a narrow-minded and ignorant individual.
Like I said, these things I managed and learnt to ignore over the years. I’m an adult. I can fight my own battles. I can choose to ignore and dismiss things as I go.
But sometimes, there are things that you can’t ignore. Especially if they are emotionally affecting someone you love more than life itself.
That someone is my only daughter, Bea.
Yesterday, she came home from school hysterical after a very traumatic bus ride. Three teenage boys THREW STONES at her INSIDE the public bus while taunting her saying she doesn’t belong here and that she’s a bloody Asian. If she was not in a public place, who knows what extent they’d go to in their desire to be hurtful and destructive. I shudder at the thought.
It took all my herculean effort not to break down while my daughter narrated what happened to her over the phone.
I rage at the thought that this happened while my daughter was on her own without her family to protect her.
I rage at the thought that this is happening to a child who’s done nothing to deserve this treatment.
I rage at the thought that my daughter is being robbed of her childhood, her innocence. She is only 11! My daughter has started questioning her right to be in this country (this is not the first act of racist bullying she’s experienced). She may not be born in New Zealand but she is a New Zealander and has lived here more than half her life! We pay our taxes, we obey the law and we deserve to be treated with respect.
I rage at the thought of doing nothing.
When it affects my daughter’s welfare, I will speak and stand up for her rights.
So today, I make a stand.
I make a stand to STOP. RACISM.
As parents, you may think that silly remarks like ‘Asian b*tch* or ‘Lazy Maoris’ or ‘bloody nigger’ are harmless. But when spoken out loud in front of impressionable children, these can be taken as the ‘norm’. That it’s ok. Those children will grow up to become teenage bullies who will think nothing of what they say. Because they heard and learnt them from YOU.
PROTECT MY CHILD’S INNOCENCE.
Protect your children’s innocence.
I will not wait for anything worse to happen to her before I speak up.
I will not wait for her to question her life and the reason for loving and living in this country.
I will not wait for her to tell me ‘Mum, I want to go home.’ Because this is home for us. This is where we are building our family’s memories. New Zealand is the country we are re-planting our roots.
I will not allow for my daughter to consciously start mixing exclusively with her ‘own race’ to protect herself.
I will not wait till it’s too late. I don’t want to feel the anguish of Megan Meier’s parents have gone through with her suicide due to bullying at MySpace.
I want her to grow up knowing that this a better world for her. A world where people accept and respect you for you who you are regardless of the colour of your skin or station in life. A world where my daughter can grow up confident about herself and can stand up for her rights. Knowing that she is loved and that she is worth something.
Spread the word.
I am hopeful that each time my sharing gets read, it will make a positive difference in the way people view others. Remember, it takes one tiny step to make a difference.
STOP. RACISM. STOP. BULLYING.
Stop it now.
This is a battle worth fighting for. A war worth winning.
100 responses so far ↓
Michelle Smith // November 25, 2008 at 6:04 pm |
I’m so sorry that this happened to your daughter. Those boys stole something from her today and that is heart breaking.
I will post a link to this on my personal blog (I’m a fellow b5′er, too).
Take care.
Peggy // November 25, 2008 at 6:07 pm |
Oh, I’m sorry to hear this. : (
I do hope those boys got what they deserve. They need to be taught how wrong they were.
Olive // November 25, 2008 at 6:24 pm |
hi xtine,
i’m angry, shocked and speechless. i wonder how their parents have raised these teenage boys that they think they’re better than the rest.
i feel you because i’m a mom too and our greatest fear is knowing that in times of trouble, we are not there to protect them when they need us most.
i will help spread the word especially to my friends who are also based down under.
kisses to bea…
olive (still speechless and very angry)
maver // November 25, 2008 at 6:36 pm |
Hi Xtine.
My heart goes out to you and Bea. Even if we met briefly in 2005 during N’s 1st birthday, we consider you family especially since you are close to C.
I hope and pray that this too shall pass, especially for young Bea who had to pay the price for a senseless “crime” towards her innocence.
I cannot fathom how kids her age could do such a thing. Where has our world gone too? What will be the future of my child, our children? It is simply incomprehensible.
May your family find peace amidst this crisis.
Take care.
M
Tricia // November 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm |
Hi Christine! This is terrible! Must be traumatic for Bea. Hugs to you and Bea! You are right. Something must be done about it.
pinayhekmi // November 25, 2008 at 6:46 pm |
I hope you have already spoken very sternly to those kids’ parents and have had the school involved. They can take this incident as a way to spread tolerance and multiculturalism at their school.
I’m very sorry this happened to dear Bea. I can remember stories of how little boys used to crush on her, and now they are turning into bullies? What has changed? So sad.
leirs // November 25, 2008 at 7:10 pm |
I’m in shock!!! My heart goes out to you and Bea because she’s a child wala naman syang laban. I hope that she’s okay. I posted the link in my plurk so that people can be aware of what is going on
Mia // November 25, 2008 at 7:15 pm |
I am appalled that this happened. Nobody deserves to be treated like this. Hugs to you and Bea! Yes, something must be done.
grace villar // November 25, 2008 at 7:42 pm |
Sorry for what happened to your daughter but I guess that only shows that no matter where you are you cant hide the fact that we live in a cruel world. No one can protect your daughter but God. Try to say a little prayer before she goes to school and say this GOD GOES BEFORE YOU ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU. Im mother of five i often say this simple line but a powerful one to my kids for i know in my heart yhet God will always protect them wherever they are. Ill pray for your family that you can surpass trials like these. God bless and be strong in the LOrd
Laura // November 25, 2008 at 8:15 pm |
Hi,
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope that there was an action done to “control” those bullies… ;(
I’m here in the Phils but even though, racial discrimination has a very extensive hand…
Hope that you don’t mind me linking this in my blog. Guess this a way for me to domy share in fighting it — by spreading the word.
Off-Topic: Protecting My Child’s Innocence // November 25, 2008 at 8:19 pm |
[...] I’ve written about the incident and my plea on my personal blog. If you have time, please feel free to visit and read my entry: Protecting My Child’s Innocence. [...]
Off-Topic: Protecting My Child’s Innocence // November 25, 2008 at 8:24 pm |
[...] I’ve written about the incident and my plea on my personal blog. If you have time, please feel free to visit and read my entry: Protecting My Child’s Innocence. [...]
Liza // November 25, 2008 at 8:30 pm |
I am shocked with such actions from people who have no respect for others. My heart goes out for Bea and what she has to go through. I commend you for taking the stand to fight for your daughter. Be strong and continue to fight for what is right. Hugs!
Janet // November 25, 2008 at 9:24 pm |
This just makes me so angry. The chances are that these were boys whose parents or grandparents came over on a boat from another country but are too thick to realise that this does not make them indigenous kiwis, there is such a small population of the country who are.
I know we talked about racism amongst average kiwis a while back which I’ve encountered a few times and which has shocked me, to hear that this has happened to Bea also makes me see red. Please give her a big hug from me.
jude // November 25, 2008 at 9:41 pm |
hi christine
i am saddened by what had happened to your daughter… being a mom myself, it is extremely difficult for us to see or hear our children being treated unfairly… but God sees everything that happens to all of us even to those boys… always pray for protection for your family especially your daughter…
my family are still waiting for our application to NZ to be approved and this incident is something we need to prepare ourselves too…if indeed it is God’s will to send us there…
God bless you always
jude gementera-agbayani spcp batch 90
ronimiranda // November 25, 2008 at 10:00 pm |
hello,hope you understand my tagalog…if not please allow your husband to translate it…nag-alala ako bigla kase 1 1/2 yrs frm now ay pupunta na kami ng canada dahil andun na wife ko..natakot ako dahil ang anak ko is only 11 yrs old nw..sana lang ay wag nyang maranasan ang mga ganyang pangyayari tulad sa anak mo..nalulungkot ako para sa kanya..life must go on and as parent, tama ang ginawa mo..keep it up….
The Digital Pinay » Blog Archive » “Protecting Bea” from racism // November 25, 2008 at 10:14 pm |
[...] Something traumatic has happened to my friend’s daughter and she has written about her experience on her personal blog: http://livingmyotherlife.com/2008/11/25/protecting-my-childs-innocence/ [...]
digitalpinay // November 25, 2008 at 10:14 pm |
This is definitely not something to be ignored! You’re right, as an adult, you can do something about it but when this is done to a child and at an 11 yrs old at that, it’s outrageous!
Walang kalaban-laban yung bata talaga. I hope and pray that this experience will not crush Bea’s spirit but will make her stronger and shape her to help make the world a better place for other kids like her.
linnor // November 25, 2008 at 10:29 pm |
Nobody deserves to be bullied or treated the way those teenage boys did. I pray for Bea’s safety and well-being.
del // November 26, 2008 at 1:06 am |
I’m so sorry this happened to your daughter. I’m an American and things have been very tense since the election of Barack Obama…he’s had more death threats than any president-elect in history, I’m sure. Plus, I’m a minority living in a part of the country with simmering racial tensions. I always think it’s very sad when people tell someone else to “go home”…unless you’re a native of that country, you also came from someplace else, you know? The only people who “belong” in America are the Native Americans and they’ve been treated horribly.
Hopefully, your daughter can eventually put this terrible incident behind her (where was the bus driver??), though I know she’ll never forget it.
ruth // November 26, 2008 at 1:32 am |
what a very horrible experience for a child to go through. unfortunately, the reality is, this seems to be very common among migrants all over the world, especially against those from developing countries.
you need to make sure bea’s sense of identity is solid. she may be a new zealander by citizenship, but she is racially filipino. she needs to learn how to fight back, to be proud of her heritage, to have the confidence that being of filipino descent does not make her a less worthy individual.
i hope you’ve spoken to the bus driver and the school authorities and have insisted on disciplinary action and other measures to make sure it does not happen again. if you feel it will help to have the incident published in your local (or even national) paper, then do it!
mich // November 26, 2008 at 1:48 am |
i don’t even know what to say, hugs to you and bea. this is one of my fears with E growing up in another country, i’m so sorry this happened to bea. i will post this in my blog.
Cherie // November 26, 2008 at 2:00 am |
This is awful. I’m so sorry this happened to your daughter. What is wrong with some people? I’ll never understand it.
Jaz Taala // November 26, 2008 at 2:05 am |
This is unacceptable. I get so angry when I hear stories like this on the news. I am even more furious that it has happened to someone I know personally. Btw, what was the bus driver doing? I am sorry but again, that is not acceptable!
I admire how composed you seemed. I would have thrown a fit as Bea relayed the experience. I would not have waited a moment and would have barged into the principal’s home and demanded that he deal with this IMMEDIATELY.
It’s amazing how ignorant & yes, narrow-minded a lot of people still are. I actually pity them because they have robbed themselves of a beautiful opportunity to befriend a beautiful soul such as your daughter’s. Be strong for Bea, Christine.
I will be praying for you, for strength, for your family as you confront the people who have harmed her as well as the authorities who will deal with those animals and especially for Bea as she fights this overwhelming act of stupidity!
Big bear hugs to you!!!
joan // November 26, 2008 at 2:09 am |
This is such a shock! Is there a government agency you can go to for help on this situation? I hope they’re doing something about this, considering how open they are to accepting migrants. What school does Bea go to? I feel so sorry for your daughter. I hope she’s as strong as you are to withstand that. God bless!
Mich’s Journeys » Blog Archive » stop! // November 26, 2008 at 2:58 am |
[...] subject to racial discrimination. Hay, I don’t even know what to say about it. Please go to Christine’s blog to read her [...]
Tracee Sioux // November 26, 2008 at 3:12 am |
Don’t just write about it.
Have them arrested.
I’m sure it’s against the law to “stone” someone in New Zealand. It’s not a taunt and it’s not name calling – it’s a hate crime. It’s assault. Assault will send the racist jerks to juvenile detention or make them do service hours. Then go to the school and have them suspended or expelled – at the very least kicked off the bus permanently, forcing their parents to pick them up or forcing them to walk.
I’m guessing those guys don’t read your blog. So, to learn a lesson they will have to be dealt with in real life with real consequences. You can’t make them love another race – but you can teach them that if they assault someone of any race they. will. go. to. jail.
justice // November 26, 2008 at 3:51 am |
this is maddening and i hope that you were able to do something about those boys. do you know them? kaasar!
unfortunately, bea has to learn that there are bad breeds out there this way. i feel for you as a mom and i sure will track those bullies. in the meantime, i hope bea knows that such taunting or insult is not of importance when it comes from people who don’t count.
Junnie // November 26, 2008 at 4:07 am |
I’m supporting this cause. In a multi-cultural city like Toronto, there are also isolated cases of this thing happening but the government is helping the schools to mitigate it. Sana in New Zealand ganun din.
We will pray for Bea to live through this experience. Let us know how we can be of help.
Gay // November 26, 2008 at 4:22 am |
Hi Xtine,
I’m sorry about what happened to your daughter.
We met briefly I think in 2003 through W@W. My family has migrated to the US since then. We are raising our 3 year old son here in McKinney, TX and everyday I worry about the racism issue. It is not so bad where we are now, and my son is not in school yet. He is such a friendly boy though, and I dread the day that he may face this issue too.
I’ll pray for your family that you remain strong in face of this adversity. I also pray for those boys and their families that God will open their hearts and minds to the fact that God created each an everyone of us in His own likeness, and it is our differences that make us unique and special.
Gay Abaquin-Perez
Charissa // November 26, 2008 at 4:34 am |
What?! Spoken to their parents?! You have to call the police! That is ASSAULT and considering that there were lots of witnesses on the bus, you should be able to get charges filed easily. There is no need to put the word crime in quotes here, it IS a crime. And considering that those boys are teenagers, they should be old enough to know better. I also hope that you never put her on that bus again. My heart goes out to you and your daughter and I am sending many prayers your way…
Leah // November 26, 2008 at 4:56 am |
It’s sad to hear that this type of racist hatred still exists when we all think we have “come so far”. Being a white woman married to a black man we’ve experienced our share of being slighted (and worse), but like you said, we are grown-ups…we can handle it. It’s horrible that a beautiful, young child would have to experience something so ugly. You are being a wonderful example to your daughter. Stay strong and know that there a loads of people around the world cheering you on!
Ricky // November 26, 2008 at 5:14 am |
uuggghh!!! those m@therf#ckers!! please tell me you’ve spoken to the school and to those kids’ parents. these kinds of things are just unacceptable. tell Bea to fight back! no matter how many they are, never let them get the best of her. oh how i wish i could be there right now.
Bea, keep your head up. do not let those a$$#oles think they’re better than anybody else.
your family up north.
Roy from the U.S. // November 26, 2008 at 6:00 am |
Hello, Christine. Just got the blog from your brother, and I feel the same way he does. My first thought was to grab my AR-15 and show those boys’ parents who can be the bigger bully. But as a father of two girls (ages 4-yrs and 18-months), I know in my heart that that would be wrong. I feel bad about what happened, and will pray for Bea, you, and your husband. And as a Catholic, I have to pray for those boys and their parents. On a side note, the U.S. has it’s fair share of racism dating back over 200-years. Especially now with our first black President-Elect. All the pinoys experienced racism when they came to the U.S. in the ’70s, and I grew up in an area full of racism with pinoys, blacks, whites, hispanics, and others. But I can assure you that regardless of race, color, religion, sex, age, and all, most people are good and want to do the right thing. That there is hope for a positive future. It’s just going to take a while. So for now, stay hopeful and strong. And tell Bea she’s not alone. She has our support from the U.S.
sassymoon // November 26, 2008 at 7:33 am |
hi christine, long time no see in blogs. sorry had to “see” you again in these circumstances. copy pasting this entry and adding link to my multiply blog as well (and facebook to, when i get the hang of that one). this kind of thing shouldn’t happen to anyone. can you report it to police? can they do anything?
controversial1 // November 26, 2008 at 8:02 am |
I am married to a Filipina and (second) father to her three children. Her oldest son is from the Phillipines while her two youngest ones are from her marriage here to a Jamaican man. I am white and in the last two years I have seen lots of staring at “us” but no outright racism or slander.
If this situation happened to one of my children I would not think twice about calling the authorities. I have no tolerance for abuse or bullying and when there is no provocation, it is even more difficult to understand.
iPost // November 26, 2008 at 10:30 am |
So sorry this happened to her. Fortunately I have never had to deal with racism, but still continue to battle hatred in my own family. My parents are set in their ways and still have ill feelings towards anyone different. I’ve tried all my life to change that to no avail.
I applaud you for standing up for your daughter. She is beautiful, inside and out, and does not deserve to be treated with ignorance.
Stink - Blame Winston and his Cronies for this one at diversity.net.nz // November 26, 2008 at 11:28 am |
[...] posted about an unfortunate experience her young daughter had on a public bus in suburban Christchurch. It [...]
Ben Kepes // November 26, 2008 at 11:28 am |
Stink – know how you feel….
http://diversity.net.nz/stink-blame-winston-and-his-cronies-for-this-one/2008/11/26/
Jackie L. // November 26, 2008 at 11:46 am |
Hello,
I follow Mad Cropper daily and I seen this and had to click on your blog.I am so sorry! That is so wrong, it makes me angry. No one should have that happen to them let alone a child!I can not imagine what it felt like to hear that and see the look on your childs face.It makes me wonder I know children tease but there is a line you do not cross!I have a dughter and I would be so upset if this happened to her.I am so sorry, that never should of happened!
Tito Irvin // November 26, 2008 at 12:06 pm |
Dear Christine and family: It is with much distress that I read of the trauma that beautiful Bea experienced while returning from school. Those immature boys should definitely be punished for their hateful and outrageous bigotry.
I pity their parents for producing such stupid sons.
Regretfully there has been such hatred in many places from the beginning of time. Even before World War II started, I was exposed to religious discrimination from my classmates and I know how painful it was when I was eleven. I will pray for Bea’s strength and hope that this sad incident
doesn’t in any way alter Bea’s love of life and her
future perception of world….
All our love, Tito Irvin and Tita Aida
Bingski // November 26, 2008 at 12:10 pm |
Stay strong!!! Will spread this blog to everyone I know.
Adrian Price // November 26, 2008 at 12:22 pm |
Christine and Bea
I’m sorry this has happened to you both. It’s not OK, and it’s not the normal behaviour of anything but a minority.
Please stand up for everyone and root out who was involved and act for a resolution with those people. Include tthe bus driver in this, he seems complicit in doing nothing about the bullying.
I’m sorry, go well
melisse // November 26, 2008 at 12:33 pm |
I also have a daughter named Bea (she is 10) and i feel the hurt you have felt when your daughter narrated the ordeal. There are just many senseless violence today and it is up to us parents to protect our children and keep our dignity up … i will post this is my blog and hopefully help spread the awareness that racism is something we cannot just take sitting down … we are all God’s creations and what makes them (rascist) better than others. Stay strong and please hug Bea longer from our family. Keep her self esteem up, a lot of people love and look up to her. Keep the faith! Stay strong!
dee // November 26, 2008 at 12:52 pm |
i’m so sorry to her this christine. that’s why i guess racism in each and every way should be nipped in the bud.
Tim F // November 26, 2008 at 12:54 pm |
Hi Christine
Good on you for fronting the issue.
You are totally correct – it is NOT ACCEPTABLE
It is time that everyone of us acted when we hear racial comments being amde around us. We need to stop ignoring situations because ” they don’t concern or are none of our business ” – THEY ARE OUR BLOODY BUSINESS.
We run the risk of ending up a rednecked country like Britain if we continue to turn a blind eye. NZ is considered a unique and a friendly country and a major tourist market. We risk all of that if we let racial comments and tensions continue in our community.
Wake up NZ and toughen up on racial comments to protect our yougsters and our country.
Carla // November 26, 2008 at 1:20 pm |
Hey Christine,
Sorry to hear about what happened. I hope Bea’s ok. My heart goes out to you!
Carla
joanna // November 26, 2008 at 1:26 pm |
Hi Christine,
Hope you and bea is doing fine after the incident. Hope and pray to god that everything will be fine and may god protect bea all the time. Be strong bea, just put it in a positive way, just think that your lucky and bless that you were raise by your parents in the right way. Shame on those kids who did that to bea.
Hope you told the school and report it to the principal of the school because bullying is not tolerable. Actions should be made. And if you got the numbers of the parents of those kids, you can inform the parents so they can be also be aware.
take care cousin, hope everything will be fine.God Bless!
from
joanna and family.
len oliver // November 26, 2008 at 1:29 pm |
oh christine, i am so sorry to hear that!
buti bea has such loving parents like you and s. i agree with the others, try to get the authorities involved. hopefully that will teach those boys and more importantly their parents/guardians about respect. stay strong, christine and bea.
Brian // November 26, 2008 at 2:38 pm |
Thank you for sharing your story. Being from USA I expected a completely different scenerio! I guess that shows a bit of prejudice on my part.
Thanks again for the fascinating window into NZ culture. My hope is it will change.
Brian
Paul // November 26, 2008 at 3:24 pm |
It’s one thing if those kids on the bus had been adults, then it is racism and they should know better. With kids though, I have to wonder if they really believe what they are saying, or are they just a pack of kids in the mood to bully? Being in that mood they’ll look for the most obvious point of difference to pick on. For your daughter it’s her ethnic background, but if it had been another child on the bus it might have been their weight, their glasses, or their ginger hair.
As horrible as this incident is (and it should never have happened), I tend to think that the primary crime here is bullying, not racism.
Best wishes
Cristina Liu // November 26, 2008 at 3:36 pm |
Hi Christine,
Hugs to you and Bea, I hope that we can really do something as moms to protect our children from Racism.
Is there a law in NZ that can protect Bea in the future that will also punish the brats who did this to her for such acts?
Tina
evangraphics // November 26, 2008 at 4:21 pm |
It was truly interesting to hear your story. I never really thought about the racism faced my different groups in different countries. Coming from the US I always thought it was just something that was around here, but it is scary to see it is everywhere and being taught to children. I wish you and your daughter the best.
Cheers
eva // November 26, 2008 at 5:25 pm |
Hi Christine,
This is sad. Ignorance is cruel. I hope you have dealt with these kids, their parents and the school accordingly. I think you should get everyone involved. To inflict verbal abuse is one thing, but to actually harm a person (i.e. threw stones at Bea) is disgusting. They should face consequences. They are not mentally challenged kids, there is no excuse for their actions. They should be taught the right from wrong this early and their parents should do their part!
Joey // November 26, 2008 at 5:43 pm |
I left a comment earlier. Wonder what happened to it…Anyway, I’ve written about this on my blog.
Whether it’s due to racism, or any other differences, nobody deserves to be treated the way your daughter was.
I salute you facing the problem head on.
And Then What? « MrsG’s Other Life // November 26, 2008 at 6:07 pm |
[...] blogged about the incident [...]
Jim Paredes // November 26, 2008 at 6:14 pm |
I admire our strength and courage. I do hope your daughter recovers from this a stronger person. I do believe in the saying that what does not kill you makes you stronger.
There are many idiots in this world and we have to stand up to them. An event like this will hopefully make your daughter excel in school and other things so that she can beat these idiots in any game they play.
YOu are right. NZ is your home. YO have evry right to be there.
marie // November 26, 2008 at 7:16 pm |
it’s one of my fears in migrating to another country. as you’ve said, we–adults–can handle it. i’m going to freak out when that happens to my son.
hope your bea will overcome her trauma and grow up as intelligent as you. i also hope that justice will be served to the five boys. i’ll try my to link this up in my site. GOD bless!
Benni // November 26, 2008 at 11:27 pm |
Hi there,
Sorry to hear about this incident.
Guess the “other” kids are not aware that they are also immigrants’ kids — after all, everyone here is an immigrant of sorts
Hope someone could teach those stone throwers a lesson. After all they’re just kids, they are able to learn. What’s scary is the culture of intolerance and racism that produced this incident …
Keep your heads up.
Cheers,
Benni.
Boots // November 27, 2008 at 12:12 am |
Hi Christine. I’m so sorry to hear what your daughter Bea had experienced…this is Totally Unacceptable! I’m also a mother & living in a foreign country with my family. I will post this blog & share to everyone. God bless you and your family.
Boots
Pamela // November 27, 2008 at 2:47 am |
I can understand your outrage, having grown up black in the United States.
The best thing to do is education – I don’t know if they have a program like this in Australia, but you might take a look at this website:
http://www.tolerance.org/index.jsp
They do good work. Particularly interesting is research that shows a few hours of contact with someone of a different ethnic group can have a big effect on someone’s racial attitudes.
Perhaps you can initiate a program at your daughter’s (and other NZ) schools.
I wish you much peace.
Pamela
delish // November 27, 2008 at 8:27 am |
blogged about this incident sis…. hopefully, people will know that this thing will not be kept hush-hush and will not be tolerated… not just because the child violated is Filipino, but because she is a child that should be protected by all the adults around her…
and with every inch of me I swear that my boy won’t ever grow up hurting someone just because he’s different… I’ll make sure of it!
delish // November 27, 2008 at 8:30 am |
oh…and hugs to Bea… and good luck to you as you empower her to grow up embracing both her roots and her upbringing, and bridging any gaps in between…
Mike // November 27, 2008 at 12:54 pm |
Christine,
You know what, this is the kind of incident which I’ve dreaded to hear since we decided to emigrate here in NZ. I also have an 11 year-old daughter and she will be taking the public transport when she goes to her Intermediate school next year. She’s just been here for less than a year and we fear she might encounter a similar situation like Bea had later on.
Only thing we could do as parents is to prepare them and teach them what the real world truly is… hopefully, that would be enough. And make them see that cruel and dumb people are amongst us…and she is not one of them!
Be strong.. all of us…
Mike
Jenny // November 27, 2008 at 1:01 pm |
I am so, so sorry. I don’t know what else to say.
Bev Hillis // November 27, 2008 at 1:24 pm |
Yes for your speaking up and yes to those supporting you and your daughter!
Perhaps there’s an additional point to be made. And I’m not sure I’m able to find the words. I’m old enough to recall the public display of hatred when integration of the schools first became an issue that Washington did more than give lip service to. And it was appalling to see a child, a minority youngster, was she 6, walking a gauntlet of hatred spewed by whites. The child had an armed escort. Can you imagine what she went through listening to that? Fortunately her parents had deep understanding of the situation and had armed her spiritually and with understanding the stupidity of the racists.
But I had an additional concern. It was for those adults standing there in such a degree of distorted and twisted evil feelings yelling at an innocent child. And yes, I felt compassion for them too. They needed to be healed!!! It was their own mixed up sense of self that they were expressing. I’ve read since of the stuff that they had been handed about the ‘other’… I was shocked at what they had been told and what they learned to think and feel.
So let me make a plea here not just for bringing down the law and the teaching of right and wrong but of checking up on what those kids are learning to have done that.
And that bus driver needs some lessons too. Not just the law and what is right and wrong but to see people empathetically.
I hope I’ve added something to your ordeal, and that of your daughter’s to aid enlightening all. Oh dear! I have a nerve thinking I can do that, don’t I?
Ronnie // November 27, 2008 at 2:34 pm |
I’m a parent too, and I feel your pain and anger. My wife and I have lived in Christchurch for a year and soon will be moving to Napier City. My wife and I had similar encounters and experiences of racial discrimination, humiliation and intimidation. Mostly from “Kiwis” of all sort of ages.
This just shows the true culture and color of skin most of them have. I would not generalize them all, but 5 or 10 encounters is one to many.
I believe their social upbringing needs fixing. We might be a minority in their country, but We are a people that lives and abide by the same laws that their countrymen breaks.
And this is a huge “Slap in the Face” to their country. If by being here in this country is a priviledge, Then I thank them for that. But I demand to be respected, since I’m one of the foundation that holds their economy as with my fellow Filipino brothers.
Mabuhay ka Kabayan!
Maricar // November 27, 2008 at 3:38 pm |
I’m so sorry that Bea had such a horrible experience. I’ll be praying for her. And for you too, for even more strength and wisdom in guiding her through things like this. Bea has a strong foundation in the home you and Simon have created for her. It will be a comfort to her, I know.
BEA G // November 27, 2008 at 8:35 pm |
hi guys its me bea! thank you for your sympathy i really appreciate it and it was terrifying for me too. its amazing how many comments there were but thats ok. but i try not to think about it too much because its quite horrifying to think about and i try to think about positive thoughts and i keep telling myself this is my home and im proud to be living in it but i just wish other people would understand.
thanks for all your support and sympathy and i much appreciate it.
from bea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mandy // November 27, 2008 at 10:47 pm |
Hi Christine! I’m from N@W and I’m very sorry this happened to your daughter. I hope she’s feeling better now; and later on she will see what stupid, ignorant boys they are and not worth any tears or hurt at all. Hugs to you & your daughter from this Part of the world.
bjay // November 28, 2008 at 4:23 am |
this is sad.
but you know what? these kind of people who bully other people, who thrive being racists, who thinks they are above everybody else… they don’t have anything in between their ears. hollow, baby. just hollow.
di lang nila alam, sila nga itong nasa ilalim ng food chain.
kung andiyan ako sis, tulungan kita mag-campaign sa kalye. makibaka!
bea is a smart kid (mana sa nanay). she’ll be alright.
hugs to you and bi-yaaaaa!
watson // November 28, 2008 at 10:55 am |
My wife showed me this post a couple of days back. We are here in Wellington for 2 months now and one of the things I was truly concerned about was discrimination although I was told that New Zealand is one of the more welcoming places. Kung tayo nga lang ang makakarinig ng ganito, matitiis pa natin. But if it happens to our kids, hell will surely freeze over. I believe though that New Zealand has laws against these and it will definitely be a fight won against people discriminated upon if they learn about, even through the hard way.
And She Says….. « MrsG’s Other Life // November 28, 2008 at 3:56 pm |
[...] daughter has read my account of the incident and this is what she has to say about all your lovely and comforting comments: hi guys its me bea! [...]
MrsDrake // November 28, 2008 at 5:43 pm |
Hi, Christine! I’m so sorry this happened to Bea!!!! I read through all the comments and I read Bea’s response post, too. She is approaching it so well…she is being very brave! But I can only imagine how terrified she was when it happened…and possibly that those boys might do it again.
I agree…I’d be asking what the heck that bus driver was doing…didn’t he/she notice this was happening? I’d be contacting the school and/or the school district (whom ever is the governing body over her school) and demanding that some discpline measures are meted out to these boys…and to the bus driver! You, Simon and Bea definitely must stand your ground and show that this behaviour is NOT acceptable and will not be tolerated. And, at the same time, you must kind of also brace yourselves that it might happen again…perhaps as backlash for standing your ground. There are truly ignorant fools out there and these boys are some of them. But I believe you should still stand your ground because I believe more people will be on your side standing the ground with you!
I’d say if you get no cooperation or reaction from the school or authorities then take this story even more public-like to your local tv station and paper, then to something that is country wide. And let them know it’s been published in a blog for all to see already (so Bea’s story is already jetting around the world!). I doubt they’d want their school to be known for it’s intolerance and for the administration turning a blind eye to intolerance!
Many hugs to Bea, you and Simon,
Lisa
Tina // November 28, 2008 at 8:19 pm |
Hi Christine
It makes me angry. It’s a good thing Bea shared this with you. I hope those teenagers will be taught a lesson. I pray for Bea to be strong and open to you and Simon with whatever she may be going through. A special hug for Bea!!
Jigi // November 30, 2008 at 2:29 am |
Xtine,
as my small form of support, I have made a small entry in relation to the matter that you wish to raise.
if you have the time, you may wish to read them at
http://thechefswife.blogspot.com/2008/11/stop-racism.html
we are rallying behind you and your cause and we will continue to raise this awareness for everyone’s benefit
Jigi
Ann // December 2, 2008 at 5:28 pm |
Hi Xtine,
my heart ached as i read this post. i cant imagine why people can be so cruel. My hugs to you and bea.
love,
ann
Rica // December 3, 2008 at 3:10 am |
it is disturbing and very sad how innocence can easily be robbed because of a stupid little game some beings(?) like to play. for their own stupid sense of happiness. geez.
you’ve always been a strong person christine. fighter ka diba, kaya ipamana mo yan kay bea.
to bea dear, i think you know who lost in this stupid game. and it is NOT you.
jethy // December 5, 2008 at 1:02 am |
“She’s only marrying you to escape the Philippines.” — this one really amuses me for being outright stupid. hey you left a wonderful and privileged life out here, which you gave up to be with the man you love. i even think the life you’ve made in the PH and NZ combined will always be far better than her bitter little white cu#t can ever taste. why divorce your man when you’ll only be on his (or his new wife’s) case? how bright is that, eh?
those people who think they’re far better than anyone just by the color of their skin or the size of their wallet, rather than the depth of their knowledge or wisdom… they’re living in ancient times. they should all open up their minds to the real present and see what’s going on in the world.
i applaud you for taking a stand against injustices, social or personal, whether it’s against yourself or the ones dear to you. i know you always mean well by anyone, and they have nothing on you.
mommyaya // December 7, 2008 at 5:20 am |
i feel for you. i will repost your article to my blog and will email blast to all my contacts. i have filipino friends who also live in NZ since they were kids, i hope they did not had that same experience. i will ask them to “spread the word.”
you’re 1 tough mom. congratulations for making a stand!
Diana // December 7, 2008 at 10:06 am |
I am so sorry that this happened to your daughter. I really saddens me that people make these kind of comments. I am particularly touched by your story as I am the mother of an Asian girl (via adoption) and I would never want her to experience anything like this. Hugs to you and your daugther!
» Something I needed to talk about Just a Thought // December 9, 2008 at 7:57 am |
[...] http://livingmyotherlife.com/2008/11/25/protecting-my-childs-innocence/ [...]
Jet // December 10, 2008 at 6:37 am |
Hi Christine! I am so sorry to read about this. I know I’m coming on a bit late again but I would like your permission to post this on my blog too, or at least put a link to this entry, just my way of helping to spread the word. Let me know, ok? Take care. to you and Bea
dang // December 10, 2008 at 1:42 pm |
this is sad! i’m proud that you’re making a stand! bea is such a smart girl(now a young woman..bilis naman)
cyberhugs!
meL // December 12, 2008 at 10:31 am |
hi christine,
i am so sorry you had to experience something like this.
I hope I can post your article at my site to reach more readers about these kind of discrimination… mwah hugs*
Mr. Acayan // December 18, 2008 at 4:05 am |
Hi Christine,
It’s sad to hear what happened to your daughter, I pray that God give her wisdom and strength to discern all these things that are happening to her.
I will be linking this post to my blog for other people to see.
God bless you and your family.
sarah // December 23, 2008 at 10:54 pm |
hi
this really angered me…and im sorry to hear that your daughter had to go through such thing, she doesn’t deserve it… nobody deserves to be treated that way…
will be including you and your daughter in my prayers… keep strong, we’re right here behind you..
*will link this post on my blog, i want more people to read about you
vacay time! | summer dreamin' // December 23, 2008 at 10:57 pm |
[...] THIS made me really angry earlier today when i read it. No to Racism. we are all [...]
Claudia Stirner // December 25, 2008 at 9:37 am |
Hello dear Christine!
I’m really so sorry about that
Unfortunatly I know exactly what you fell because I had the same problem in Germany. I’m black and the racism was very strong and I heared the worst things also. My little girl was just 2 years old and was also not good for her.
Well, now my husband,she and I are back to my country Brazil and just try to forget all that horror and be happy.
In your case, I’m sure you will be very strong and your little girl will be also strong.
I wish you that this situation do not happen again with her and I wish you all great things for you and your wonderful familie!
Hugs and Kisses!
Claudia.
Claudia Stirner // December 26, 2008 at 5:02 am |
Hello dear! I hope you all had a great Christmas!
Just wanted let you know that I wrote some words about your text on my site.
You can see it here http://claudiasplace.net/protesto.html
You can translate it into English, will be not perfect but we can understand it
Hugs
Claudia Stirner.
Pennies for your thoughts… » Blog Archive » Please stop RACISM // January 2, 2009 at 10:33 pm |
[...] Please check out Mrs. Christine Gooding’s blog link kindly pass it around to help support her campaign against Racism: http://livingmyotherlife.com/2008/11/25/protecting-my-childs-innocence/ [...]
Michael // January 29, 2009 at 11:17 am |
I was deeply upset, but sadly not surprised to read of your daughter’s experience. Unfortunately NZ as a society has become increasingly – or rather, more overtly racist towards asians. I myself am half asian, half european, have lived in NZ for 25 years, since the age of 3, but decided recently to leave the country for good after encountering racism in some form pretty much on a daily basis in Auckland. I didn’t have the strength ultimately to endure this, but I’m confident that with your support your daughter will.
I do hope that the stand you’re making reaches the intended audience, and we will one day soon see a more enlightened and sensitive society in NZ and across the world. Kia kaha
Oscars na! « Arthur Nielsen Demain // February 22, 2009 at 8:19 pm |
[...] I fully support Christine Goodling’s ADVOCACIES! [...]
On your 12th Birthday « MrsG’s Other Life // June 4, 2009 at 12:27 pm |
[...] face the world, I always marvel at the fact on how you can teach me as well. At such a tender age, you experienced bullying laced with racism. I wanted to lash out on those who have hurt you (physically) and those who broke your confidence [...]
Jordyn Moir // August 25, 2009 at 1:14 pm |
Hi, we are a group of students at canterbury university and are doing a investigation into racism in New Zealand and what we can do to chnage it. Your story was very powerful and influetial to myself and the group and we would like to use your story as an example of the issues in New Zealand. We know that it will only make a small difference but it is our way of trying to make a difference here in New Zealand. So we were wondering if we had your permission to use your story, and it would be your choice if we used a name. It is not neccassary to allow us to use your name as we understand that this is personal to you and that you may wish to remain anoynamouse, alos any other information would be greatly taken on board,
yours gratefully
Jordyn Moir
@rachel_a // August 27, 2009 at 9:05 pm |
I’m NZ born Chinese, with kiwi mum and NZ born Chinese Dad. I experienced awful racism when I was 8-10years. I was told to “go home” – WTF? My parents were born here, where else could I go? But, luckily I had some good friends who did stick by me and help keep me strong.
And when I grew up, my Chinese heritage became something I was, and still are, proud of. Your daughter has a right to be proud of who she is and where she’s come from. Nothing anyone else says or does should take that away from her.
Grace @ Sandier Pastures // August 27, 2009 at 10:13 pm |
I’m a new follower to your blog so this is my first time reading this post via Twitter.
I’m so sorry that this happened to your precious daughter. No one has the right to treat her like that. I can’t believe racism exists EVERYWHERE, its ugly head lurking and waiting for a ready prey. It’s disgusting.
On the brighter side of things, it’s good that she shared this experience with you. So you can help, advise and stand up for her and your family.
I’m a naturalized Japanese citizen – a special privilege given to me (there are very, very few of us) but still, people don’t want to recognize me for being Japanese. I speak, read and write the language like how the locals do yet I am not accepted as “true” Japanese because I look like a Filipino and born in the Philippines.
Racism is a tough war to win and we can only win it by loving support from people around us and excelling in the things we do – to prove to them that we can’t be belittled! I pray for your Bea. I pray for every child/person who goes through this harrowing experience to come out stronger and jubilant!
Great post (sorry for my long comment!)
Enid // August 28, 2009 at 2:19 am |
Hi Christine! I feel for you..I have a daughter myself and I know I’d feel the same way. Children like those who bullied your little girl are ill-educated. I know it’s easy to say to just not mind them. Because you cannot just “not mind” this kind of treatment. Don’t worry you know the laws of “karma.” these same boys will fall in love with people from other nations and everything will come back and haunt them. i’ll post this on my blogsite.
nikki // August 28, 2009 at 2:28 pm |
hi.
i really understand what you mean. i am a 14 year old and i live in nz.
i am dealing with racism in my school. it is really hard. i agree with you. stop racism.
mrsgooding // August 28, 2009 at 2:50 pm |
So sorry to hear your struggling too, Nikki. Have you a good support of family and friends to help you through this ordeal?